Biochemistry

  • Even though my first academic year at UCL was less than a year ago it remains a blur, a year that came too quickly and was gone too soon. I remember the first day that I walked into UCL, not as a hopeful, not to be interviewed but as a student, ready and eager.

    However, it was not long before that I realised I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want more coursework, I didn’t want more exams, and I certainly did not want more practicals. But that’s exactly what I got, more, more MORE! What was wrong with university? Didn’t they understand that I just completed my A Levels? This was supposed to be my year of rest, of socialising, my year of chilling and partying (the halal way)…it was anything but.

    Within my first month of university, the regrets came, why university? Feeling the desire of having taken a gap year was definately the peak of my emotions everyday. Wanting to be three years older and already graduated was another. How wrong were my A Level teachers when they reassured me that university life was easy…fun they said. Well it didn’t look like I was having much fun. That’s when I realised I could be having fun, if only I drank and partied on a weekly basis. But I didn’t.

    I was the only hijabi on my course, I looked different, I thought different and I acted different and the greater the differences the greater the distance between me and my classmates. I felt a sense of not fitting in, a sense of being alone, lost and confused. Having just come from a diverse and muticultural college and school with Muslims the dominating population, I found UCL a challenge.

    But I wasn’t about to give up. Afterall, I am a Muslim, striving is our motto. So I pinned my hijab on tight, rolled down my abaya sleeves, and got ready…again. And this time when the load came I welcomed it with open hands (only joking I tried to run away but had no choice). I couldn’t go to the pub so I went to the ISoc instead…Muslims at last!

    Now having found my spiritual company my worries were comforted and my doubts reassured. Suddenly everything was not looking as bleak as before and I could recognise the light of hope at the end of the tunnel. My biggest encouragement was none other than Allah (swt), and I kept reminding myself of my duty towards Him and though at times I came short, I never gave in.

    And that was last year.

    Currently being a second year at UCL I struggle to comprehend why I found university life so difficult last year, because surely the work is harder and the load is greater. But that’s just it. I forgot to mention the most significant aspect of my first year…growing up. The biggest lessons you learn from university are not how DNA is replicated, or transcribed or even translated, but rather you mature emotionally and mentally. It’s the time to discover who you are, what you’re about and where you’re heading. And I can confidently look back at last year and say Alhamdulilah!

    This year my passion for biochemistry is back, not sure where it went but it’s back! I’m loving my course more than ever, I love university and feel incredibly priveleged to be studying at UCL.