Khutbah After Khutbah

  • How often do we advise sisters not to beautify their voices and to be stern and to the point when talking to non-mahram men, yet when we come across a sister who fulfils (or attempts to fulfil) this, we waste no time in labelling her brash, rude, blunt or arrogant. The truth of the matter is that a sister who appears friendly, submissive and sweet is seen as the ‘preferred’ sister and is given leeway simply because she has displayed the attractive features of her personality. Whereas the sister who does not (deliberately) over-display her softer side (or go out of her way to beautify herself in other ways) or sugar-coat her words to appear more pleasing, is disapproved of when she is simply adhering to what brothers themselves have asked of her khutbah after khutbah. Do tell me, where are our 70 excuses….?

    How do we justify judging, labelling and even backbiting about people whose reality we do not know? How do we justify basing our opinions on mere hearsay? Wouldn’t a sister who is not ‘in the spotlight’ be a better choice – Yes you may not see the ‘nice’ side of her or even hear from her too often (obviously we can’t be mute) but isn’t that the point? Would you really want your wife to be ‘friendly’ or ‘comfortable’ with others? It is no more wrong after marriage than before, so why do we not look to the Islam we are so quick to preach and learn to appreciate these qualities?! And furthermore try and adopt them within ourselves – no woman would want her husband to be ‘friendly’ either.

    Speaking of khutbahs, how many times is it said to brothers and sisters about ‘lowering your gaze.’ Yet in reality, very few individuals actually abide by this. On the way to prayer (ironically), you pass a brother/sister and may catch his/her glance for a spilt second. Proactively, you lower your head and think that you have succeeded in this although I’m not entirely convinced. Yes, physically you have lowered your head and ensured the ground has now become your focal point. But surely (and I may be wrong here), it is not simply the issue of where your lustful eyes fall upon but rather where your imagination leads you to. It is possible to speak to a male/female whilst maintaining natural eye contact. Argue it however you will, but the fact is I can speak to another male, look him in the eyes and think nothing more. Hell, most of you do this with non-Muslims males/females on a daily basis. Heaven, I have seen this with my own eyes and never think it to be anything more but a conversation. So why change the rules?

    Our community acts to do good and does succeed however through subtle trickery, double standards somehow manage to creep in. The term ‘sister’ is used for the sake of appearances as we are primarily seen as women. Confusing as it may be to some, the obligations that exist between a husband and a wife do not exist between you and I. This is often forgotten. One must learn to walk before they run otherwise disaster will soon set it. My attempts in gaining your affection or your approval are futile. I have no desire for this; you cannot lose what you never had in the first place.
    The rules and regulations that exist should apply to everyone in exactly the same way contrary to the contacts which you may or may not hold. Do not excuse something that is Islamically incorrect…….for a sweetheart.

    I will leave you with a final thought…

    Eyes squinting, they peer through their sex-tinted glasses
    Establishing social justice, equality and belief in God are long forgotten
    Islam is seen through the prism of brief encounters with the opposite kind
    Appeasing their unruly desires has become our purpose
    Cloaked in black, we must appear as shadows, present but not acknowledged
    All in the name of modesty you say?
    But, hidden under the guise of propriety lies their hypocrisy of
    Secret assignations
    Snatched conversations
    Flirtatious gazes
    Forbidden fantasies
    The continuous call for reticence does not penetrate their hearts.
    A familiar tale….or not?

    Hadiya


    March 4th, 2011 | admin | No Comments |

About The Author

Leave a Reply

* Name, Email, and Comment are Required